Is trick-or-treating just about the candy?

I know I'm not the only mom who struggles with all the candy my kids get from trick-or-treating. And yet we do it anyway because it's so much fun. 

I also know a lot of people who don't hand out candy because they know it's not good for the kids. But they are also missing out.

So how can we make trick-or-treating less about the candy, and more of a fun experience for both kids and adults?

Here's the thing... trick-or-treating is an opportunity for neighbors to connect over something fun and lighthearted. Across political and social divides. In a time that is more divisive than ever. 

It's an opportunity for people to be creative with their costumes and decorations. It's a time for people to try on a new persona. It's an opportunity for people to be silly, fun, or mysterious. 

For kids, it is an opportunity to get creative with their costumes. To me, it is super important that I don't just buy them the ready-made costume or make one for them. They need a chance to put something together themselves with their imagination. They might need help with supplies or execution, but the idea comes from them. 

It's an opportunity for kids to be out after dark, running around the streets having fun. It's exciting to see what costumes other kids came up with and to see their friends all dressed up. 

It's an opportunity for kids to go up to their neighbor's houses, who they may or may not know. To meet them and see a glimpse of what their house and life is like. 

For the adults accepting trick-or-treaters, this is an opportunity to interact with the kids in the neighborhood. To get to know them a little bit. To see their costumes they made. And to offer them an experience. It might be fun decorations that tell a story, or your creative costume, or something else? You get to decide. 

As a mom trick-or-treating with my kids, the opportunity was to see friends and get to know other parents. This is huge for me as a homeschooling mom. It's also to get dressed up, have fun with my kids, and meet the neighbors as well. 

I understand that we don't all take advantage of these opportunities. It's ok if you don't have the capacity to participate for whatever reason. But I hope that in pointing them out that you can recognize them better. 

I also want to point out that it's not about the candy. At least, it doesn't have to be. As the adults, we are in the drivers seat. We get to set the tone. And as individuals as well as a community, we can shift it. 

Here's a few ideas I had to shift it away from candy. Please let me know what you think and what your ideas are.

• Give out something besides candy. Granola bars, raisins, seeds, even toothbrushes! Personally, I would try to avoid plastic stuff, but that's just me.
• If you have only kids you know, make homemade treats. It's ok, I know you are not poisoning the kids! Or maybe kids can have a choice between something homemade and candy. 
• Don't leave a bowl with candy outside your door and ask kids to help themselves. It's really missing the point. If you can't open the door and be a part of it, then skip the candy.
• If you do hand out candy, only give out one piece to each kid. Trust me, they have enough candy! 
• Don't just open the door with a bowl of candy and pass it out. Interact with the kids. Admire their costumes, especially the homemade ones. Many of these kids have put hours and hours into them. 
• Wear your own costume! Have fun with it and get into the persona or the story. Kids LOVE to see adults acting funny. 
• Sit outside around a bonfire, and welcome the kids and adults to stay for a while and warm their hands. This slows down the roll and gives everyone a chance to interact more. You can even offer the parents adult "treats" like a beer. 
• Stick to your neighborhood or community as much as you can to maximize the beneficial connections you are creating. Going across town to the "rich" neighborhood also misses the point. 
• Talk to your neighbors about organizing something special. We attended a wonderful gathering last night with a "hay ride" to get between the houses, followed by an outdoor potluck, bonfire, and haunted greenhouse. It was so much fun, and about way more than just the candy! 
• With your kids, talk up the other aspects of Halloween besides the candy. Get into your costumes, decorations, and stories. The more you participate, the more fun it is for all, and the less it is about the candy.
• Many parents exchange the bag of candy for a toy their kids really want. We decided this year to save it for piñatas for their birthdays!